I found out who God truly was in an ER in southern Alabama with a genetic heart condition at age 38.
It was an early September morning and I started having chest tightness and shortness of breathe. I kept thinking: This cannot be happening. This cannot be a heart attack, I am only 38 years old! I am young, healthy and I exercise! I do all of the right things! I mean, this whole website/blog is dedicated to health and wellness! But, I still called my husband and said, “Something isn’t right, we need to get me checked out ASAP. This is beyond anxiety. Something is wrong.”
Peace That Passes All Understanding
An hour later I found myself in the ER with my heart being stopped and started again. Not once, but twice. I listened as my husband, ER docs and nurses looked on with horror, but held it together all at the same time. I remember thinking, “Jesus.” That is all I could think of. I would silently hear Him speaking to me and saying, “Mandi, just breathe.” My husband is looking on in horror and thinking, “This is it. I am about to loose her. This is it!” But, still held my hand and kept saying the name of “Jesus”. We didn’t know how to pray or what to say at the time, except the name of “Jesus”. But as all of the drama was going on around us, I remember being at peace. Peace that literally passes all understanding.
Now that I can look back, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I wasn’t going to die that day. Not because I am physic or because I have a special relationship with God that no one else has, but because God showed up! All of the faith that I had in the past led up to that very moment. He gave me peace. Why? Well, because I had no choice but to look inward. I couldn’t see what I was going through. I could only hear and feel. I couldn’t see in the physical! Isn’t that similar to that “crazy faith” I talk so much about? Faith isn’t about seeing, it’s about feeling the presence of God and hearing what He is telling you to do. That my friends, is blind faith, a faith that is crazy to the world, but is so normal to God.
It’s Time to Look Inward & Stop Looking Outward
You see, somedays I think we are so wrapped up in what is going on around us that we forget to look inward. Inward in what we know, inward in the facts and not the ways of the world. My husband is one of the most faithful people I know. I am not saying he did the wrong thing by panicking, but he had a front row seat to the battle. But, he knew what he had to do and he called on Jesus. All we had was Jesus, I had to trust that what these people were doing to me was the right thing and God was using them as a vessel to save me. Chris and I called out to Jesus and He delivered. All I kept saying was the name of “Jesus”, but He was whispering the word “redemption” in my ear the whole time. I had peace that past all understanding!
I didn’t know until later how much danger I was in truly. Chris holds it together so much better than I do during times of trauma, but when I saw him cry as he hugged his brother and our Pastor I knew it was tears of joy that I was still alive. I didn’t know until I saw his tears release how bad it truly could have been.
Redemption: the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment, or clearing a debt.
My debt had already been paid. The day Jesus died on the cross for me my redemption started. The days I kept my blind faith even though the world thought it was crazy my redemption continued and it still continues until this day. And it will continue until God is ready to take me home. But that day, He was not ready to take me home and that day is not near. I still have time left to fulfill what He has for me and what He wants from me.
I Found God That Day
I will go more into what the heart condition is at a later date. But for now know this, I hear Him more clearly and am so much more grateful for His love. I wasn’t expecting to land myself in the ER that morning. I wasn’t expecting to have my heart stopped and started again, not once but twice. I wasn’t expecting to hear my husband pray in desperation. But, what I was expecting was God to show up and He did in a mighty way. He gave me peace, kept me calm and showed up by sparing me and sparing my family heartache. God isn’t finished with me yet and He told me just that on that very day.
And So It Continued For 8 Days
I spent the next 8 days in the hospital. I had no choice, but to put all of my trust in Him. I had no choice, but to slow down. I had no choice but to hear Him. He showed up! Now it is my turn to show up by thanking Him. I have spent the last four weeks doing all of those things and realizing what God had been telling me for a long time: to slow down, listen to Him, to look inward at Him and not outward at the world. He knows what is best for me. He knows what is best for my family. I will spend my days showing Him He spared me for something great by actually showing up!
While I was in the hospital I made sure I kept showing up for him by doing The PurposeFULL Woman Podcast. It was hard, but I knew it had to be done for His glory and His glory alone. The show must go on and it will continue to go on through my actions of giving God all of the glory in all I do.
I have had lots of time to reflect and think on what is important again. I was looking outward at the world way too much, now it is time to look inward and trust. Trust in knowing that He knows the bigger picture and that He will see us through obstacles, traumas and the good days. Trust in His faint whispers that He whispers every single day. Trust in knowing He has my best interest at heart. Trust in knowing He is near and has never left me.
So The Journey Continues
The journey to heart health still continues. Meds, At-Home-Heart-Monitors, procedures, EKGs, Ultra Sounds, Etc. are all apart of the norm for this chick. It feels like it has been a hard and long road, but I still have peace. I still know that God shows up on the daily. I still know He will see me through this. I still know He is in control!
I have a great doctor and an amazing support system. Although this chapter in my life is not over I will not be defeated, no matter how uncomfortable it is or how uncomfortable it may get.
Always Listen to Your Body
I am glad I listened to my body that day or things could have ended up a lot worse. Always listen to your body and if no ones listens to your concerns keep speaking up until someone or some doctor listens. My body did the talking for me that day and I am so glad I took it seriously.
I Found God In The ER With A Heart Condition at Age 38
I know it may seem kinda weird that I took pics while I was in the ER and hospital, but I seriously wanted to remember those days forever. I knew that God was doing something great and I couldn’t wait to share. I will continue to fill you in as time goes on. God’s going to use this story as a testimony of my faith in Him.
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Thanks for all of the calls, texts and messages asking about my heart. I have yet to get back to all of you. (Without technical and medical jargon.) They think there may be a bit more going on than they thought with my heart, so I’m wearing an at-home-heart-monitor so they can see exactly where the probs are coming from. It will result in a procedure, but at this time we aren’t sure when. As of right now, I’m on high dosages of heart meds to stabilize everything until we can do the procedure. Chris and I have all the confidence in the world in my doctor. He has my best interest at heart and is doing everything to see what’s up with my “stubborn heart” as he calls it. ? So that’s the update and what we know for now! I’m very blessed and am well aware that all this could have been so much worse. God’s got this! ❤️ I will continue to fill you in as time goes on. God’s going to use this story as a testimony of my faith in Him. ❤️ So for now I’m hooked up like a car battery! Vroom, vroom! ?
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Until next time….