Dear God the twins didnt get the memo

Dear God,

Seriously?! I don’t think the twins got the same memo we did. I think we got totally different memos when it comes to their behavior.

Take for instance….

Twins come with Halos

Um, well they do when they are around other people obviously but, in our presence they seem to forget that one minor accessory. The same halos come out when they arrive at church or at the in-laws house. But, at my house I think they miss that accessory or no wait, maybe they lose it when they are hanging from the banister. That has to be it, because I mean, who can hold on to such an accessory when dangling for your life and giving your mother a heart attack?!

Twins always have someone to play with

Although this one is very true…. I find myself saying ridiculous things like: “Don’t stick that in your brother’s ______.” OR “Why are you peeing on each other?” OR “Don’t stick anymore body parts in anymore holes!” (Dare to read that story, HERE.) OR (my all time favorite) “Why would you smear poop there?” (Dare to read that story, HERE.)

Having twins is hard but, when they turn three they are so much easier

Um, NO! Just NO! Whoever says this needs to stop this madness. You sit on a throne of lies! Although it has gotten easier in some ways, other problems have risen (see above and below).

You won’t have to do much with twins, they will pacify each other

Again, NNNNOOOOOO! Stop it! Stop it, I say! They don’t pacify each other, they conspire against us. They come up with a game plan and think of ways to give mom a heart attack EACH AND EVERY DAY!

Going out to eat with twins is fun

Eeehhh… Not really……

Imagine this scene, if you will…. Mom, Dad, Big Sis and two strapping toddler boys venture out to a restaurant. Nothing fancy, you know, the norm. The waitress seats us in the corner, of course, away from civilization, because she sees the train wreck that is about to go down. (Why couldn’t we, who knows?) We sit down at the table ready for some good food….. AND then it happens, remember the halos? Yeah, they don’t either! The halos are long gone….. By the end of the meal….. we have been stared at, asked a gazillion times if they are twins and told how cute they are while boogers are flying, food is all over the floor and they are screaming at God only knows what. All the while Mom and Dad are shoveling food that we think is ours and Big Sis is just praying she can get out alive.

When one twin sees the other eating asparagus that twin will eat it too

Nope! That’s not really how it goes down dude! See what really happens is they again conspire against us and decide they are going to use the asparagus as weapons against their father and I. Then demand for cereal bars (those of you who know us know this was a HUGE problem at one time, despite my arguments) in which we caved a lot of times because, well we were afraid for our lives! Despite my health nut ways they made me do it!

When going to the grocery store their wants and needs will never outweigh their love for you

Wrong again! Their wants and needs always come first at the grocery store. ALWAYS! My twins will push mama down on the ground for a cookie. Okay, Okay! This mama doesn’t give them cookies a lot, because you know the health nut thing and all. So I shouldn’t be so harsh with them on this subject, since they are just trying to get a cookie that they never would get anyway. But, when you are in the cookie aisle and not one, but two little ones start yelling (not because they are mean, but because they are just loud in general) “I want a cookie!” at the top of their lungs and then repeats it a gazillion times you know where their loyalty lies. By the end of your grocery store trip everyone knows you as the “cookie lady” when you check out. That’s when you know there is a problem!

Grateful for my twins but, are you sure you gave them to the right parents? Cause, I am not sure we are doing a great job!



P.S. Please make it a requirement that all twin parents that go before us tell the truth to new twin parents! Okay? Okay!


In all seriousness parenting is hard! I wish these little people of ours came with memos! But, they don’t!

You know the above letter to God is just a joke (so hold up before you write in the comments how ungrateful and rude I am) but, some days, I do wonder what He was thinking. I never once thought while we were starting our journey as a couple that parenting would be so hard! There are days I want to put my head under the covers and sleep in (what is sleeping-in anyway? Do people still do this?) but, I have a job to do. I put on my big girl panties and make breakfast for my three little ones. Not just because I have to but, because God gave them to me. He chose me to be their mama! He chose me to be the first woman in my boys lives and the first woman to be my daughter’s mentor. He chose me to pray over them and to love them.

You see mammas, God chose you specifically for your children! He knows you can do this job and do it well! I am the first one to say that this job is hard but, it is the most rewarding job I have ever had! EVER! At the end of the day, I may not be happy with all of my actions but, I know that God chose me and He chose me well!

Having twins will humble you, heck having kids will humble you but, as mammas we need to take the bad with the good days and be okay with doing the best that we can. Some days we may not live up to our own standards or be what we think we need to be for our kids but, we live and learn and we do better the next day.

This year I challenge you to be the best mama you know how, but when trouble or bad days arise know that there is grace. Grace from God AND your kids.  I know an apology is in order from me to my kids I ALWAYS receive grace from them too. They love you and so does God! You are enough for them. I challenge you to dig deeper into God’s word and ask God to co-parent with you. He will never steer you in the wrong direction. Ask Him to lay on your heart what specifics you can pray over each of your children and write them down. Now is the perfect time to do this with the start of the new year.

Download below this printable to keep up with the prayers for your children and watch how God works. When the prayer is answered, write it down! Sometimes we forget how awesome He is and how many prayers He answers. Go back on days of doubt and fear and be reminded of His awesomeness and watch your faith come back! (I also included an extra for your husband too!)

Print as many as you like! My gift to you!


By the way, did you know I have an Etsy shop? You can get the planner to match these prayer downloads HERE at my Etsy shop! Go and take a look!

Until next time,



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The Day I Called My Kids Turds & Went to Church Anyway

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