I call myself a recovering people pleaser. I will always be recovering. People pleasing can easily creep in on me somedays, that’s just my nature. If it isn’t your nature, consider yourself blessed beyond measure! A Beginner’s Guide to Stop People Pleasing from a recovering people pleaser.
3 things most people pleasers are known for:
- They do not like showing their imperfections. I came into this world, making sure I knew how to do something, before I let anyone see me do it. I never wanted anyone to see the imperfection. Now I love showing others my imperfections and shortcomings. I have realized that that is what makes me, me. But, before I treated my imperfections like curses and labels. Now I know the imperfections make me human and unique!
- They do not like confrontation, I will avoid it at all costs, but when needed, I can let it loose…. probably too loose. 😆 That is another story for another day. Can we say, temper? 😱
- They also hate disappointing anyone. Disappointment is apart of life and cannot be avoided at times. Everyone will get disappointed, including you.
A Beginner’s Guide to Stop People Pleasing:
- Stop trying to be perfect for everyone. Someone will always find fault somewhere. You will always be human. And Hey, guess what?! YOU ARE NOT PERFECT! So stop trying to be. Jesus was the only human that was perfect. We need to strive to be like Jesus, but we need to accept that we will never BE Jesus, which is perfect. Stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself and you will feel so much better.
- Stop worrying about confrontation. There is always going to be someone that won’t take kindly to what you have to say. You can not control how they perceive you. Best thing to do is to “do you”, make sure you are doing right by God and if the confrontation comes, give it to God. Ask Him what you need to say and do about the situation. He hears you and He will do right by you, I promise, you just have to ask and then listen!
- Acknowledge that you will disappoint someone. Again, you can not do anything about how anyone sees or perceives you. If you are doing right by God, you are doing just fine! It is not your job to make everyone happy, so therefore, you will disappoint at some point, so except it even before it happens
Look I get it, people pleasing can be debilitating. It can play mind tricks on you and the devil will use it in anyway he can to make you unhappy. It is not humanly possible to please everyone, all of the time, so stop letting the devil make you think you can. It wasn’t until I realized what the devil was doing that I started combatting my people pleasing. That is what he does. He takes a weakness of yours and makes you fixate on it. Don’t let him. Find the tools and get to work. You will always be recovering, but when that urge hits you, you will know how to combat it.
Galatians 1:10- For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Hang in there friends! You’ve got this!
I would love to invite you to the next FREE Live 7-Day Daily Devotional Challenge that will be held in The PurposeFULL Woman Facebook Group starting February 1. Grab the FREE devotional we will be using and follow along. Grab a friend, your partner, your kids or you can go through it by yourself. It is for anyone and everyone! Hope to see you there!
A version of this first appeared in my weekly newsletter. You can subscribe to receive it in your inbox here.