I know weird title right?
But, the last four and a half months have been kinda weird anyway, so it’s only appropriate for me to keep the weird streak going. You see, four and a half months ago after an eight day stay in the hospital I found out I had a rare genetic heart condition. I wish I would have inherited something different, but here we are. You can read all about it at I Found God In The ER With A Heart Condition At Age 38.
When Chris and I were whisk away in an ambulance four and a half months ago I had no idea that I would be staying at the hospital for eight full days. How was I to know? How was I even to know that I had a heart condition? I didn’t and I was not prepared. So we called family and friends to gather around us and not just pray, but to help juggle the kids and get us the things that we needed.
We Can Learn A Lot From Our Kids
My eight year old daughter is an old soul. She came out of the womb strong-willed, sweet, smiley and could talk full sentences at a very young age. (She hasn’t stopped since, if you were wondering. Man, that girl can talk!) She has always been very in tune with other people’s feelings and has always had empathy for others. She loves playing and doing all of the kid stuff, but there has always been something about her that is so “growny” some days.
When we asked my mother to pack an overnight bag for me (when we finally determined I was at the hospital to stay), my daughter insisted on packing my overnight bag instead. She packed the necessities, you know; toothbrush, a brush, yoga pants (since I live in them basically), socks, slippers, PJ pants and a stuffed caterpillar. Yep you read right, a stuffed animal. This caterpillar was given to her as a baby and she slept with it often. Four years ago when I had my hysterectomy, she had given it to me to take to the hospital. She told me that she wanted me to have it, because it was a piece of her and God’s heart. Ever since my hysterectomy it has spent most of it’s life on my bed. I cherish it. I tried giving it back to her several times only to hear her tell me that it was a gift and she wanted me to have a piece of her heart always, not just in the hospital during my hysterectomy.
A Heart Condition And A Heart Felt Stuffed Animal
Fast forward four years and her mama lands again in the hospital for (of all things) a heart condition. When I saw the caterpillar in the bag my daughter had packed, I was reminded that it represented a piece of her heart. I kept it by me and with me for eight straight days in the hospital. When I returned home my daughter told me at the most random time (as kids usually do) that she was glad the caterpillar had been with me. She asked: Mom do you remember why I gave you that caterpillar? I said: When I went to the hospital for my surgery you gave it to me. She said: But yeah, remember what I said? That it was a piece of mine and God’s heart. As long as you have a piece of mine and God’s heart, YOUR HEART will be just fine.
It was then, I was reminded that she was oh so right. As long as I have a piece of God’s heart my heart (physically and spiritually) would be just fine. As long as I have a piece of my daughter’s heart I would be just fine.
A Piece Of God’s Heart
Two and a half months ago I underwent a heart procedure. It did not result in what we wanted, so in a week I will have to undergo another heart procedure. But, I had my stuffed caterpillar with me and it kept reminding me of God’s love, even though we didn’t get the news we wanted to hear. And, I will have my trusty caterpillar with me again as I go on my journey of yet another heart procedure. My heart will be mended, it is already mending through God’s love!
I do believe God is restoring my heart, physically and spiritually. As long as I seek His heart, He will make my heart new again. As long as I have a piece of my daughter’s heart, I am alive and well. As long as I have a piece of God’s heart, I will live in all eternity.
I may have a cardiologist at 38 years of age and that isn’t natural, but as long as I have a cardiologist my heart is still beating. As long as I have God, my heart is still beating. Beating for His love.
As long as I have my daughter I have a heart that is for me and not against me.
There is nothing like our Heavenly Father’s love or a child’s love for their mother. And that my friends is what keeps me going every single day; the love in my heart. I may not always show my love the way that I should, but everyday I am striving to be better than I was the day before. I may not have it all together, but my God is patient and kind and makes sure my heart yearns for Him.
Even through the storm, He is healing my heart, physically and spiritually. And it took a little stuffed caterpillar to be reminded of that. Our kids can teach us so much. Take time to listen to what they are saying and doing, it may just be God speaking to you through them.
Psalm 18:33: “He makes my feet like hinds’ feet (able to stand firmly and tread safely on paths of testing and trouble); He sets me (securely) on my high places.”
Until next time…
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